At some point in your life, you’ve probably felt very angry and aggressive. These are normal emotions. But it’s important to know how to deal with them without attacking others.
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When two people love each other, they feel a strong sense of affection and attraction for each other. They want to share things with each other.
Your heart is pounding, your palms are sweaty, your cheeks are flushed, you've got butterflies in your stomach, you want to hug someone, you’re bursting with joy!
There is no love without respect. In a relationship, as in life, you have to treat the other person with care, without mocking or treating them cruelly.
A couple is made up of two people, each with their own life story. Talking helps you get to know one another's wants and needs. Opening up and listening to each other is the only way to know if you're on the same page.
Love is all about trust and generosity. It is not possessive or suspicious. It's natural to feel anxious sometimes because the other person isn't available or is out with other people, but having confidence in yourself, in the other person and in the relationship helps to avoid feeling jealous.
People of all genders have the same rights. For example, the guy doesn't get to decide everything in the relationship just because he's a guy. Similarly, the girl or non-binary person doesn't have to agree to everything just because she's a girl or because they're non-binary.
Is there anything better than love? It puts you in a good mood, makes your heart sing and gives you wings! Love also means knowing how to set your own boundaries and respecting those of your partner.
Love happens naturally, and there's no way to explain it. You can't force yourself to love someone, and you can't force someone to love you.
You are always free to say that you don't agree or that you want to leave. Just because you agree to have a drink with someone or smile at them, doesn't mean you’re saying yes to everything. You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do. It's disrespectful and not allowed.
Your body is your own. No one has the right to force unwanted physical contact on you. When it comes to sensual or sexual experiences, it should be a mutual decision without pressure.
Even if you’ve been together for a while, you still need to communicate. Connect with your partner, don’t expect them to guess what you’re thinking.
Ask them regularly if things are going well, and if they are happy. Listen to them without interrupting or making fun of them. Try and understand their point of view.
Sometimes people don't realise that what they say or do can hurt others. Certain words or behaviours hurt some people while others don't mind – everyone is different. It's important to be aware of this and to be careful.
Take some time to think about how you feel about the relationship.
Sometimes you don't feel right, without really knowing whether what you're feeling is sadness, worry or anger. Try stay in tune with yourself and put your feelings into words. You shouldn't let emotions slip away without understanding exactly what's happening to you. Talk to your partner about it openly and honestly.
Here are two examples of situations you may have experienced:
"My boyfriend only likes action films, but I'm not so keen. He says he likes it when we go to the cinema together, but I'd like to go and see other kinds of films."
Laura
"On Tuesdays I have basketball training with my friends. But he always pushes me to stay with him. And if I don't, he sulks..."
Thomas
Practise saying:
This situation doesn't work for me.
I love you, but I don't want this.
I'm really angry.
And also:
I like spending time with you.
I'd like us to take some time to talk.
I'd like you to listen to me.
At some point in your life, you’ve probably felt very angry and aggressive. These are normal emotions. But it’s important to know how to deal with them without attacking others.
Even when people love each other, they don't always agree on everything and they fight. Everyone has their own opinions and personality and sometimes people get angry.
Arguing allows each partner to assert themselves, to express their discomfort and share what isn’t working for them instead of running away or shutting down. In an argument, both people communicate their point of view while respecting one another. Even if the situation is sometimes uncomfortable, there is still dialogue.
Once the storm has passed, you can sit down and talk things through. Together, you can come up with a solution. In a loving relationship, compromise is necessary - and it's important that both parties agree.
Abuse is more than a fight between two people in love. It's when there's a lack of respect, when one partner is in charge and frightens or attacks the other with gestures or words.
There are many signs that a relationship is deteriorating. Often it doesn’t seem very serious at first, but things can get worse over time. It’s important to learn how to recognise abuse. It can take on several different forms.
The person you're dating doesn't care what you think. They impose their tastes and preferences on you. Everything has to be done their way. Sometimes they even decide how you should dress, who you can see, and where you can go.
The person you're dating always wants to know where you are and who you're with. They don't like you seeing other people, especially people of the same gender as them.
The person you're dating talks down to you. They constantly criticise you. They put you down, even in front of other people.
The person you are dating scares you by threatening you. They try to intimidate you by yelling, screaming, banging on the table, or other similar actions.
The person you are dating pushes, shoves, grabs, shakes, slaps or hits you. They may force you to have unwanted sexual contact.
When people love each other, they talk to each other, they respect each other and they trust each other. Abuse is not an option.
Physical and psychological abuse destroys both the person and the relationship. Whatever excuses are made, it is unforgivable. And the law prohibits it.
Break the chain, choose respect.
If you know someone who is affected by sexting that has gotten out of hand, you can do something about it by breaking the chain and NOT sharing the images. Delete any photos you receive without permission and don’t help spread them. Tell the person who sent you the photos that it’s illegal. Don’t forget that simply possessing these photos is punishable by law.
If you know the person in the photo, stand up for them.
If you need advice on how to manage and deal with sexting, you can ask us your questions anonymously and free of charge.
Sexting is the act of exchanging intimate photos, videos, text or voice messages of yourself or others via the internet or a mobile phone. Putting yourself out there is not a problematic behaviour in itself, but sending photos via social media can be very risky. Only you can decide what you share in the intimacy of your relationship. You are under no obligation to do anything you don't want to do. If you wish to share something, think carefully about the impact it could have on you if it were to be circulated. It's your body, your privacy, your decision!
Sexual content can be exchanged live via Facetime or Snapchat, for example, or via text messages, Whatsapp and social networks such as Instagram or Facebook. Even if you think that Snapchat is safe and that there are no risks because it's only visible for a few seconds, the recipient can always take a screenshot to keep your photos.
If it gets out of hand, sexting can easily turn into harassment. This can happen if you share what the person you're sexting with has entrusted to you with other people or on the internet - via social networks, email or other means.
You may want to share this content with your friends to make them laugh, to get back at someone or because you're disappointed, but beware - the consequences can be severe and it's against the law in Switzerland! What starts as a simple exchange of photos can quickly get out of hand (see below). If these photos are passed on to other people or even posted on the internet, the people involved could be seriously cyberbullied. Since 1 July 2024, it is against the law to share intimate images of someone without their consent. If you are a victim, you can file a complaint with the police.
If you want to send sexual photos, videos or other material to the person you're dating, think carefully about the potential risks to you if things go wrong: if they show it to others or post it on the internet.
Remember that you always have the right to refuse to send nude photos or videos if you don't want to.
The risks and consequences of sexting can be serious and may be punishable by law.
When you exchange intimate photos or videos of yourself with your partner, there is always a risk that things will go wrong and that the content will be shared, especially if you break up.
Breaking trust and sharing in public what has been shared in private can be very damaging. There is a high risk of harassment from others who have seen the images on the internet (e.g. verbal abuse), leading to feelings of shame, low self-esteem, isolation, despair, guilt and sometimes depression or even suicide.
Distributing sexting content that includes images, videos, texts, for example, or using it as a means of blackmail, is illegal and can result in a criminal conviction according to Article 197 of the Swiss Penal Code, hereafter referred to as the SPC.
If someone pressures you to expose yourself, this is a form of coercion. For example: “If you really loved me, you would send me a naked picture of yourself”. Coercion is a criminal offence (Article 181 SPC) and can be reported to the police.
Simply threatening to publish photos of an ex-partner is a punishable offence (Article 180 SPC).
