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Hello, I am a victim of obsessional harassment by a former partner, whom I separated from in 2023, and the abuse has been going on for three years now. This behaviour is mostly cyber stalking, sexual harassment, implicit threats of rape, coercion (suicide threats) and racist remarks. I have blocked him on all social media and communication platforms but he continues to find ways to contact me, despite consistent demands that he leave me alone. He also uses third parties to harass me. I reported it to the police in January and I was able to get a protective order from the civil court, and I was able to have his firearms confiscated. However the criminal proceedings are ongoing, and all of this has been very taxing emotionally and mentally. He filed a counter suit against me for calomnie so I was called to the prosecutor to be questioned. I really need legal help and mental health support, as I am a foreigner, a single mother, and an entrepreneur- my resources are limited and I am entirely alone.
Hello,
We sincerely thank you for sharing this difficult situation with us. Since your separation from your former partner, you have endured years of his violent behaviors, which include cyber stalking, sexual harrassment, threats of rape and suicide, as well as racist remarks. This person subjected you to constant monitoring and blatantly disregarded your boundaries and attempts to distance yourself from unwarranted and violent contact. In order to protect yourself from this person, you have since obtained a restrictive order against them, as well as a confiscation of their firearms. However, he has filed a counter suit and criminal legal proceedings are ongoing. We understand that you currently feel alone in this situation, and that resources are very limited as a foreign single mother and entrepreneur. The toll of this abuse, both legal and emotional, has now led you to seek further support by contacting us.
We would like to acknowledge the strength it requires to take action in such highly unsettling circumstances. You have every right to feel safe, respected and at peace. This step towards finding legal and mental-health resources is crucial and a testament to your love for yourself and your child/ren.
Violence Que Faire provides information and adapted guidance to persons affected by domestic violence. We therefore wish to provide meaningful guidance while taking into consideration the social and material conditions of your current situation.
If it is alright with you, we would first like to offer a few insights, in order to validate what you may have been feeling, and further clarify your current needs for support through introspective questions. We will then suggest useful contacts and resources which are available regardless of your nationality or financial situation.
The behaviors you have shared with us are unacceptable and unbearable, this person had no right to make you feel unsafe and belittled. What this person has done can be defined as psychological and sexual abuse. Racist insults, stalking, threatening and harrassing are demeaning and frightening behaviors which are psychologically abusive. In the abuser's attempt to display and maintain control, sexual harrassment and rape threats are considered sexual abuse, and further create a strong sense of fear in victims. Such violence has many impacts on victims' self-esteem, feeling of isolation and overall health. Though difficult, it is beneficial to seek out ways to be supported while grappling with the mental and emotional aftermath of this abuse, as you are doing.
If we may, we would like to provide some introspective questions :
You have every right to be supported, regardless of material conditions or nationality.
A LAVI Center (021 631 03 00) can provide free and confidential guidance with the help of professionals and translators if needed. Here you can benefit from a consultation, as well as psychological, legal and financial aid if needed, and at your own pace. There are several centers available throughout the canton of Vaud, and you are free to visit whichever one you prefer, as well as centers in other cantons.
The MalleyPrarie center (021 620 76 76) also offers free and confidential consultations as well as a shelter and further protection for women and their children, if you ever need it. They can answer any questions you may have and guide you in your next steps.
For specific questions or doubts about your legal rights in regards to residence and immigration status, we can suggest contacting or visiting one of the locations of La Fraternité (CSP) in Lausanne (021 560 60 60). Here you will find free consultations regarding legal advice, racism, migration and finances.
In case of sudden or urgent questions, do not hesitate to call the national helpline for domestic violence 142, for questions regarding any complications or doubts.
We would like to encourage you to continue to rely on your instincts and seek help and protection for you and your child/ren. Your own resources have brought you this far and you do not need to face this all alone. Close and trustworthy friends and professionals are here to support you and listen.
In hopes that our answer provides useful guidance, please feel free to contact us with further questions or to share any updates.
We send you our warmest regards
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